Mother 3 Abridged: Script
by Clockwork Oranges
Summary: This is the script for my Mother 3 Abridged, Episode one out now!  Go find it yourself, you get one hint: It's on youtube
1. Episode 1

_Oh boy, do I have some warnings for you! I tend to use explicit language in my work, it's not that I find swear words funny it's more that I find they make the moment work. Along with that the abridged is in its "alpha" stages if you will, so this episode has not seen the light of day yet._

**Mother 3 Abridged Script**

**Episode 1**

[knock knock, knock knock]

Hinawa: Oi! Lucas get out of bed you lazy ass, get out of bed and get a job!

Lucas: Quiet woman, I'm trying to get some sleep *insert 5 second pause here*, and how would I be able to get a job anyway I'm like 10 or 11 or something.

Hinawa: You don't even know your own age?

Lucas: Well if somebody would tell me when I was born maybe I would!

Hinawa: Shut up and get out of your bed, or I'll come up there and kick your ass!

Lucas: I'll be good mommy. *said innocently*

[Lucas gets out of bed and walks over to the mirror]

Lucas: *said to self* Lookin' handsome there!

Mirror: Handsome! Handsome! Susan Boil looks more handsome than you! *said proudly*

Lucas: But she's not a man...

Mirror: Exactly.

Lucas: You son of a bitch, you're going down!

[Gunshots]

Lucas: *sighs* Fucking Mirrors.

[intro plays]

Lucas: Mother…

Hinawa: Son…

*Insert 5 second pause here*

Lucas: Ok I'm going to leave now

Hinawa: You can't go outside in your pyjamas!

Lucas: Why?

Hinawa: Because you look like an escaped convict

Lucas: I may as well be, with all the Drago hunting dad makes me do.

Hinawa: I don't want you to get arrested!

Lucas: Don't lie…

Hinawa: Fine, I do but that's not the point, Claus would complain for months on end.

Lucas: God, I'll go upstairs and get changed then.

Hinawa: Finally, this was getting stale anyway…

*cuts to black*

Lucas: *Walking towards door* I'm leaving you now bye! *Said cheerfully*

*Cuts to black again*

Lucas: I wander where Gramps and Claus are.

Chicken: I can tell you where they are…

Lucas: Holly Shit a talking chicken!

Chicken: I can't speak English; you can understand animal's is all.

Lucas: Oh like that movie Dr Doolittle

Chicken: It's nothing like that movie, that movie was terrible!

Lucas: Anyway I heard you could help me locate my Grandpa and my gay as Older Brother.

Chicken: Yes, you need to go to your right and… *slowly fades into babbling*

Lucas *Thinking* Damn I'm hungry, that no for good mother of mine didn't cook me any breakfast, speaking of which this chicken looks like it would be delicious KFC style…

Chicken: What's with that hungry look in your eye?

*Screen cuts to black*  
>(you can here fighting sounds in background)<p>

Lucas: *Burps* Ah, I do love KFC!

Lucas: From what I could gather from that chicken before he went cornel, he said that my Brother and Grandpa were to the right

*walks over to frog*

Frog: Hey there stranger! You look like you need to relieve some stress... I can help you with that, I have something that can make the world seem like a much nicer place.

Lucas: No thanks, last time I took drugs things got a little crazy…

*cuts to clip of Tane Tane Island*

Lucas: Dude It's a giant pair of lips!

*cuts back*

Frog: Well suit yourself, that Old man and the Homosexual will still buy the rest of this stuff.

Lucas: Wait Homosexual, Old man, sounds like Claus and Gramps… Tell me where they are and I'll get them to buy the rest of those drugs…

Frogs: To your right, stranger…

Lucas: Thanks man.

*Cuts to next screen*

Alec: I love Barney the dinosaur!

Claus: Ya, he's the best thing evar!

Lucas: What the hell are you two doing with that Drago?

Alec: It's not a Drago, its Barney the dinosaur and he's teaching us in the ways of brushing teeth

*shows Drago*

Claus: Yes Barney, teach me how to brush my teeth through dance!

*Cuts to clip of Barney dancing with random children*

*Cuts Back*

Lucas: Wow you two really are high…

*shows clip of Barney swearing*

*cuts back*

Claus: Why Barney, why would you say such a thing! I loved you *said as if torn apart*

Lucas: Wait what…

Alec: We must destroy the heathen!

*Cuts to Black*

(You can hear someone screaming in pain in the BG)

*cuts back*

Lucas: That was…disturbing, also what's with all of the cut-aways in this episode.

Claus: Ow my aching head, what happened Lucas babe?

Lucas: First of Claus never call me babe again! Second you were blitzed out of your minds.

Alec: So…

Lucas: Drugs can lead you down a bad path grandpa.

Alec: Nobody cares Lucas, nobody cares…

Lucas: Well anyway, I kind of promised that frog that you'd by more of those drugs from him.

*Mole Cricket theme plays*

*Mole Cricket walks in*

Mole Cricket: Oh hell no! That frog has been stealing my business for months; he even stole some of my bitches!

Claus: That frog is one of my best friends!

Lucas: Claus we met him yesterday…

Alec: Lucas, he is important to the boy damn it!

Lucas: Whatever.

Mole Cricket: So you're not going to back down?

Claus: Never! Me and Lucas never back down!

Lucas: When did I get roped into this?

Mole Cricket: Well then, I might have to teach you a lesson in gang wars!

*Screen cuts to black again…*

(Gunshots are heard)

*Cuts back to game over screen*

Lucas: Fuuuuuuuuuuu! *cuts of mid sentence*

To be continued

_That's it for now folks I am currently working on the second episodes script and I personally think it's going quite well, but I digress the script should be done within a week or two, so look forward to that if you liked the first episodes script._


	2. Episode 2

_"No way! It's an updated project!" Yes, yes it is, thank you for noticing, but in all seriousness enjoy the script. _

_Co-written by Sam [BowsersBestKoopa/MageHawke1]_

* * *

><p>Mother 3 Abridged – Episode 2<p>

On the last part of the Mother 3 Abridged.

*Cuts to some clips*

[Music: Zack Hemsey - Mind Heist]

Hinawa: Lucas, I'm not your mother

* * *

><p>Mole Cricket: That was me, the Mole Cricket, and these are my three droogs.<p>

* * *

><p>Claus: This bomb is going to explode if we don't figure out which wire to cut.<p>

Alec: Cut the blue wire!

* * *

><p>Chicken: Boo! Ghost chicken!<p>

* * *

><p>Lucas: You do realise there's an off switch right?<p>

*Intro Plays*

Mole Cricket: You don't mess with a Pimp son!

Claus: Any room for a male prostitute in your ranks?

Mole Cricket: Hell no son! I can't hit yo' ginger ass!

Claus: Why the hell not babe?

Lucas: Claus go suck a dick or something, real men are talking here.

Claus: You never understood me!

*You can hear cryinging in the background*

Mole Cricket: Your brothers a fag.

Lucas: Try living with him for 10 years, then come back.

Mole Cricket: Why does your own brother hit on you like that?

Lucas: *Shivers* Fucking fangirls…

*Words come up on the screen* Seriously fuck you all, I am scarred for life *Words leave screen*

Mole Cricket: I've gotta run m'boi, I'll see ya'll in the next episode!

*Mole Cricket runs off*

Lucas: What the hell has he been smoking?

Alec: I don't know but I want some of it.

Claus: *Through tears* Lucas my love! I realised that we won't have to share a bed when we get back home!"

Lucas: *sighs* I hate my life.

* * *

><p>*cuts to black*<p>

*Lucas is in his bed*

Hinawa: Lucas get your but down here now it's time for diner.

Lucas: Let a man tug the anchor up here! *Said angrily*

Hinawa: I said now damn it!

Lucas: FINE!

*cuts to hinawas monologue*

Hinawa: Dear Flint;

*said angrily* You are an asshole!

You have left with me with an incestuous, homosexual, ginger kid and a little, blond, sarcastic turd!

I hope for your sake that I die in some sort of horrific accident, because when I get back I'm going to put your nuts in a vice!

Love Hinawa *Last part said sweetly*

*UFO flys over Hinawa*

Pigmask Jeff: Damn it Tom! You weren't meant to fly the aircraft this close to the ground!

Pigmask Tom: Shut up! I am your boss, I can do whatever the hell I like.

Pigmask Jeff: At least I'm not obese…

Pigmask Tom:...I'll give you that, either way, we need to get to the forest.

*cuts to forest scene*

Lighter: Lad stay in the house while I run away from the flames.

Fuel: Daddy, why?

Lighter: Because lad, I need you to protect the car! I have a £3000 deposit on that car and it's not going to bloody waste!

*cuts to Pigmask's Tom and Jeff throughing bombs*

Pigmask Tom: Alright then Jeff through a bomb over there!

Pigmask Jeff: Why the hell do I have to do this!

Pigmask Tom: Because if the bombs defective, you die and I don't!

Pigmask Jeff: Fuck that.

Pigmask Tom: Respect my Autharitah!

*Throughs bomb on ground*

Pigmask Jeff: We really didn't think this through did we?

Pigmask Tom: No shit Sherlock, now run for it!

*Runs off*

Thomas: Finally a fire, this is my big chance to impress Flint! My time in the spotlight, I'll show everyone I'm not an idiot…Oh god what the hell do I do!

*runs to flints house*

Thomas: Hey Flint, you in!

Flint: Damn it Thomas, you can't make a fanclub based around me.

Thomas: No Flint, the forest is on fire, we need your help!

Flint: Hey Thomas, Guess what?

Thomas: What?

Flint: I'm not going to help you, in fact I'm going to take a power nap.

Thomas: Power nap?

Flint: POWER NAP!

Thomas: but your wifes in danger!

Flint: *Gasps*

TO BE CONTINUED

*cuts to black*

*cuts back to flint*

Flint: You know I don't really give a shit right.

* * *

><p>*Credits*<p>

[Song: South Park Cartman – Poker Face]

*Credits Fade*

[Song: Clockwork Orange Theme]

Mole Cricket: That was me, that is the Mole Cricket, and these are my three droogs, that be Lucas, Alecy and Dim, Dim being really gay.

Claus: Hey! *annoyed*


End file.
